God - I

It is when I was in 10th standard that I questioned myself what "God" means! This blog is just an outcome of my conversation with my inner-conscience, around 10 yrs back. I remember very well - I was going in my cycle when this question of "God" struck my mind. It was actually a series of questions... Does God really exist? If so, is God a "person" with extraordinary powers? And, where is God? Everywhere? Then, why does not God show Himself up to any of us? If God is so good, why does He let evil creep into the earth? Is God controlling the Universe? Is Universe a plaything for Him – some sort of sport? ...the list goes endless! And, when I found (after a lot of thinking over this issue) a satisfactory definition for "God" – something that could convince my conscience, I changed many things in my day-to-day life.".

As a student of science, I could not accept that God controls universe... or to put it in other words, I did not believe that God is someone who could drench you in rain when He wished.

When I began to think about what God really meant, my primary concern was to answer the question, "Does God really exist?" If the answer is "No" then I could stop at that point. But if the answer is "Yes", I have to justify it by giving a proper "definition" to the word "God". By "definition" I refer to explaining the basic questions 'Who, Where and How' is God? Now, this definition should also solve the endless list of questions that I had in my mind – atleast to a greater extent possible! As a student of science, I could not accept that God controls universe... or to put it in other words, I did not believe that God is someone who could drench you in rain when He wished. I believed that the mysteries of nature could be explained by science... after all with the development of science, it was already possible to forecast climate, study about stars and planets, make satellites circle the earth,... . If there was something that science could not explain, it just meant that science had not advanced that much to give an explanation. It cannot be termed as God’s act. But, even after having these thoughts, I still could not say that there did not exist any "God". The reason is that, there were many things that pointed to the "existence of God". For example, people could get their problems solved when they prayed to "God". Though I did not support the theory that God solved the problem, I could not despise the fact that prayer had some effect in getting solution to problems. So, I chose to "logically" believe that there existed "God". Having accepted the existence of God, I now had the uphill task of defining "God

When I started out to "define" God, I could rule out the possibility of God having a "physical" presence because if God had had "physical" form and was too good at heart, He would have done two things. Firstly, He would have shown up before some people atleast (who are good and believed in Him). Secondly, there is no reason why He should allow humans to do wrong things! Now, I began to think of what "God" could be! To arrive at some conclusion, I chose to think logically again. There was one clue towards getting the solution – "prayer helped in reaching God". Thinking on these lines, it also struck me that if someone concentrates on a particular thing, he/she is bound to get some solution for what he/she is thinking about. This I myself had experienced. Also, there were many incidents supporting this. So, I began to analyze if – God might be related to "thoughts". Finally – after a lot of for and against arguments (with my inner-conscience) on this assumption – I came out with final acceptable (to me!) definition of God that can be put forth as follows:

"God is a conglomeration of all the good thoughts let out by humans. There is also a collection of all bad thoughts – that we call it the "Satan". Both God and Satan will repay us in proportion to what we contribute to them. But it is to be kept in mind that God can repay us by good only and Satan by evil deeds only."

I could convince myself with the above definition as it answered majority of questions related to God (though there are still some unanswered questions!) in a satisfying manner. Now, I could say God existed everywhere as God is just "thoughts". No one has ever seen God, as "thoughts" have no physical presence. When people pray, they think of good things only and so they are being paid back with good deeds. And, when people pray, their problems get solved – not because there is someone watching them pray and provide solutions to them. It is just that, when they pray, they concentrate more towards their solution and also contribute some "good" thought. As a result, they get a clear mindset to think of a solution to their own problems. This might also be thought of as a "pay back" for their contribution to the "good thoughts". Actually, even after defining God as a "conglomeration of good thoughts", I wanted some strong support for my definition as it was just a child’s conclusion (considering my age at that time – 15 yrs) on a topic which can be analyzed in greater depth only by elder people who have more experience in life (However, I still believed in my conclusion!). The support I was looking for did come accidentally – when I joined my B.E in 1999.I came across the works of Swami Vivekananda and in that I could see to my astonishment every point which I had discussed to myself – but in a more refined way. He had written in one of his works, "all our minds are a part of the universal mind" which is what I call it the "conglomeration of thoughts". He had discussed the powers of the mind (thoughts) and about concentration. On reading his works, I began to have "high respect" for him. Though he followed Hinduism, he stressed on the oneness of all religions.

For those who know me, I tell you, "I am not an atheist. It is just that I have a different perception of God. I am a person who believes in science more than superstition; and believes in common sense more than science itself!"

As I already mentioned in the starting paragraph, I had to change many things after "defining" God. Having understood that "concentration" is the basis of prayer, I no longer liked going to temples on special occasions when there is a rush and "concentrating" becomes difficult. Also, I could not accept large amounts of money being spent on performing costly rituals in the name of "poojas" while there are millions of people starving. I began to believe strongly that "God" exists only if "people" exists, for "God" is just good thoughts. My stress is on improving the living condition of humans. My point is that it is enough if we maintained the existing places of worship and to divert the remaining money for the development of mankind. However people around me began to consider me as having "indifferent" attitude towards the "holy rituals" and they doubted if I am an atheist. Some have even asked me so! For those who know me, I tell you, "I am not an atheist. It is just that I have a different perception of God. I am a person who believes in science more than superstition; and believes in common sense more than science itself!" Actually there is still a lot I would like to write on this topic… without which my views on God is incomplete. However, I do not want to burden the readers with too much of my views. So, await God – II (might come up after a month or so!) where I will write how people are seeking God without knowing what "God" meant. Also, I will write why certain things needs to get changed for the betterment of the society! And, if you think – after reading this – that I am trying to bring up a new religion or that I am trying to make people follow Swami Vivekananda, I will prove your assertion to be wrong in God - II. Will meet you in God II!